Those Who Lie to Protect
by Robias
Summary: Kaoru has always felt a little bit too strongly for his twin, and he'll do almost anything to make Hikaru happy. Anything but give him away to Haruhi, that is. Kaoru/Haruhi, Hikaru/Haruhi, one-sided Kaoru/Hikaru.


Word count: 6060

Genre: general

Rating: not worksafe

Note: One day, I'll write a happy ending for the twins. _One day_.

* * *

"Why do you keep doing this," Haruhi asks, slightly out of breath, "when it hurts you so much to go behind Hikaru's back?"

Kaoru doesn't halt his thrusts even for a second to answer. He's gotten used to her always questioning him, even in the middle of sex. But he does tighten his grip on her behind, and his next thrust is hard enough to drive her a good ten centimetres up the wall, causing her to dig her face into his shoulder to muffle her cry. Good. He doesn't want to hear her questions, doesn't want to see her brown eyes that simply _understands_, understands without him even having to answer. Not now. Right now, he doesn't want to be reminded of the multiple ways that he's betraying his twin.

If Haruhi ever found it strange that he's still trying to pair her and Hikaru up, even after having started sleeping with her himself, she's never said it out loud. She probably knows the answer anyway, knows it even better than he does himself, and it frustrates him to no end, because she won't _tell_ him. All she gives him are those _questions_, that forces him to lay awake at night, listening to Hikaru's breathing while repeating them in his mind, and time after another coming out short of an answer.

If Hikaru knew, he'd be furious, there's no doubt in his mind about that, and the guilt makes him bite his lip as he drives in even harder, deeper, panting as he's nearing the edge. Haruhi whimpers and clutches at his shoulders; the sounds she makes sends shivers down his back and he moans. Every move he makes is a promise, a promise to allow himself to give (him) her away, soon, just a little more, just let him have her, share her, a little longer.

And afterwards, Haruhi slides down the wall, allowing herself to be trapped between him and the hard surface, her breathing already calming while his is still erratic. She reaches up to touch her hand to his cheek, but he screws his eyes shut and refuses to look at her.

Sighing, Haruhi pushes at his chest to make him move back and let her worm her way out from between him and the wall. He listens to the sounds of her straightening her uniform, biting his lip again while he refuses to do the same. He wants her to leave quickly, leave him alone with his guilt, the taste of acid betrayal in his mouth.

Hikaru will ask where they have been so long, and Haruhi will be able to lie. Kaoru won't. Therefore, he lets her leave first, so that the questions will have stopped when he gets back.

Kaoru knows that he is a weak and despicable person. To be allowed to share (Hikaru with her) her with Hikaru, even if it's done without his twin's knowledge, makes it worth it.

Her hand on his back surprises him, makes him jump, and he glances over his shoulder despite himself. She's smiling, why is she smiling, can't she understand how broken and twisted he is, beyond repair even; he's a person who doesn't deserve her smile or her sympathies. He's dragging her down with him in his fall, can't she see how he's ruining them both?

"Do you really think that he'd want to chose?" she asks him silently, eyes soft.

"What…?" Kaoru turns around, staring. She continues to smile as she reaches down and helps tuck him away, buttoning his pants and fastening his belt. When she is done, he's blushing furiously – never mind that they've just had sex – and she giggles.

"I mean," she continues, and he's startled once again; what, is she actually going to _explain what she's thinking?_ "I mean, I wouldn't mind, obviously." She looks up at him, expression set and serious, but her eyes are still soft. "Why are you so certain that he would want to chose?"

She's making it even _harder_, damn her. He knows that reality will keep them apart, so why does she find it such an easy thing to accept?

"He deserves more than having to go through his life hiding me," he finally answers.

"And yet you're making him chose, even though you've already made up your mind," she summarizes, tilting her head slightly to the side. "Don't you think that is a little unfair?"

This time, he won't answer, and he doesn't have to either. They both already know that he knows. Haruhi sighs again, and takes a step back.

"I'll see you in a little while, Kaoru," she says and raises her hand to correct her hair-do a little, before pushing the dressing room's cloth aside and leaving. Kaoru stands still, dumbstruck, his body feeling as numb as his mind. This will be the last time, he understands. She won't come with him again, not unless he talks to Hikaru first.

But how can he do that? Twins sharing a partner? Even if they're only in high school, their social status wouldn't allow either of them to even have a fling at this age. It was supposed to be the real deal, or no deal at all. Some of their classmates are already engaged. Reality is closing in on all of them, and as he and Hikaru grows apart, he comes to realize more and more that he once he cannot have his twin – or Haruhi – by his side anymore, he will be entirely alone.

**

* * *

**That night, Kaoru had even bigger problems falling asleep than usual. He twisted and rummaged around in bed so much that he finally woke up Hikaru, and as his twin's sleepy question ("What're y'doin', Kaoru…?") reached him, he realized that they'd have to stop sharing a bed soon. Maybe even a room. Hikaru would want to bring Haruhi in here at some point in their relationship, and Kaoru… didn't think that he'd be able to stand it if he had to stay away from the room, knowing what the two of them were up to.

He really was a pitifully despicable person, wanting to keep them both as his own like this.

"Hikaru…" he mumbled in a low voice. "I was wondering… have you ever kissed Haruhi?"

It apparently took Hikaru's still only half-awake brain a while to process what he'd said, but that suited Kaoru just fine, because it gave him time to collect himself enough to glance over at his twin. Golden eyes, still heavy-lidded and tired, but quickly waking up as the other boy's sleepiness was overtaken by surprise and curiosity.

"Huh?" Hikaru said, blinking a few more times, the last of his unawareness slipping away. "What do you want to know that for?"

Kaoru turned away again, shifting; a shrug, even though the carefree gesture didn't quite work when he was laying down in bed. "No reason. I'm just curious."

"You know I'd have told you if I'd kissed her," Hikaru said from the other side of the bed. "I always tell you."

"I know…" Kaoru sighed. Of course Hikaru wouldn't see a difference between telling Kaoru where he and Haruhi had gone or which movie they had seen and whether or not they had kissed. He was honest like that, his brother. Honest, open, unsuspecting, vulnerable… and Kaoru was the one using that, the one threatening to hurt him.

He wanted to die from how horrible he felt. Oh God, just let him die here and now, so this stupid not-love triangle could finally come to an end.

Hikaru shifted, and when Kaoru looked at him, he'd propped himself up on an elbow to be able to see him better. Damn it. That was Hikaru's "let's talk" pose. This wouldn't be pretty. He'd never, ever been able to lie to Hikaru.

"Listen, I know that there's something wrong, and it's eating me alive that I can't figure out what it is," he started. Kaoru wanted to turn away, to turn his back on his brother – not for the first time in his life, but maybe for the last time? Maybe… He should, he knew. He should turn his back on him, stop clinging to that last hope that he didn't even want to acknowledge; the hope that Hikaru would somehow accept his betrayal, forgive him, tell him that it didn't matter, he was still his brother and he still trusted and loved him… all of those things they had never even needed to say before, he desperately wanted to hear now.

But he couldn't reach out to him. He couldn't turn away either. He could only lay there and prepare himself for the righteous judgment he knew would come.

Hikaru continued, his voice sounding slightly strained, and Kaoru tried to figure out if he sounded more angry or sad. "Haruhi knows what's wrong with you, I know she does, but she won't tell me."

"You asked her?" Kaoru wondered.

"Yeah, but she just said that it's something I need to let you tell me yourself," Hikaru answered, sounding frustrated. "But you won't even talk to me anymore!"

He wanted to screw his eyes and ears shut, he didn't want to hear as the other boy's voice became louder and slightly more high-pitched… but that wasn't how Hikaru sounded when he was angry. It had a different ring to it… no… that was Hikaru's desperate voice, the "begging voice", he realized, only slightly different from the "whining voice".

"I'm sorry…" Kaoru whispered, still unable to turn his face away. "It's… she really is right, isn't she? I'm making you chose when I've already made up my mind."

"What are you talking about? Chose what?"

Kaoru pushed himself up into a sitting position. "I'm just too selfish, 'Ru," he continued, using their own name for the two of them for the first time in at least several months. "I can't let either of you go unless I'm forced."

Hikaru followed him up, scooting closer to him at the same time, and Kaoru did nothing to keep the distance between them. That would have been a too big giveaway, and despite him knowing that there was no turning back now, he still couldn't bring himself to be the first one to pull away.

"What 'let us go'? 'Ru? I don't understand…" And Hikaru's tone holds both confusion and pain, because he's not used to this, he's not used to not being able to tell what is wrong, he's not used to not being able to tell exactly what Kaoru is thinking, neither of them are.

"I'm sleeping with her, okay?!" Kaoru finally snaps. He's so goddamned tired of this, and Haruhi has already made her stand; she won't come with him anymore. And he doesn't deserve Hikaru either, after having lied to his face so many times. _There should be no secrets between twins_, their mother once told them. _To keep secrets is to make yourself lonely. You weren't supposed to be alone, that is the reason why God let you be born together._

But Kaoru is alone. He's been alone since the day she told them there's a difference. And it is time for him to face that.

Hikaru flinches as if Kaoru just hit him. It takes him a moment to find his voice, and during that moment, Kaoru can't meet his eyes; instead he draws his legs close to his body, wrapping his arms around them and then hides his face, curling into a ball there on the bed. His and Hikaru's bed.

"You're what…?" his twin finally asks, breathless, as if he's forgotten how to use air properly when speaking. "With… with Haruhi…? But…"

"Yeah, with Haruhi. With the girl you're dating," he answers, his own voice muffled by his arms. _The girl you haven't even kissed yet_, he silently adds in his head. Fuck, he really is the lowest kind of human. Barely human at all. Trash. That is what he feels like, that is what he is. Just trash.

"But you said you didn't like her like that anymore... How long have you…?"

"A few weeks. Since the end of the summer break."

"And why didn't you tell me before? Hell, I thought you must have discovered you had _cancer_ or something, with the way you've been behaving lately!"

Kaoru blinks and raises his head at the outburst. Hikaru looks wounded, but not as much as he'd have expected him to. And he doesn't look angry. Or heart-broken. Or any of the things that Kaoru thought he would look like once his brother had told him he'd been sleeping with his girlfriend.

"…you're not angry." It's a statement, not a question. He doesn't quite dare to trust the comfortable warmth that spreads in the room again, not yet, but he can tell that the wall between them is gone again, like it's never even been there.

Maybe it wasn't actually there. Maybe it was just all in Kaoru's mind. Like Haruhi has known all along that it was.

"…_duh_." Hikaru shakes his head, disbelievingly. "All this time, I've been wondering how I was supposed to ask Haruhi to accept you too. I've been hoping that the two of you sneaking off together was a sign that something was going in the right direction, but since neither of you would talk to me…"

Kaoru just sits silent and lets Hikaru talk. He can't believe this, and in the same time, it's such a completely _Hikaru_ thing to do, to have accepted the idea of all three of them together this easily. He should have expected it.

_"Do you really think that he'd want to chose?"_

She knows them. Of course he knew it before, but he's never understood how well she knows them until now. He must have looked so _foolish_ to her, continuing to hide what she already knew would be accepted in a heartbeat. Damn her for being so observant, anyway.

He still has doubts, though, and he can't help but to voice them. "We're brothers. _Twins_. We stopped doing stupid things like helping each other jerk off _years_ ago. Our act might be accepted in school, but once we graduate and take out place in society... And we'll be a hindrance to her as well. She wants to become a lawyer, I'm sure you know that. Think about what it would do to her reputation if she was seeing a _pair of twins_, both at the same time."

Hikaru's slowly growing smile fades. "I know," he says. "I've thought about that, too. But you know… no one can tell us apart beside her. It wouldn't be that hard to…"

"No," Kaoru interrupted. "I'm not doing that to her. I'm _not_ making her hide either of us."

Hikaru bites his lip. "Then what…"

"She'll have to choose. And I guess that it should be you, considering you're the one who is officially – or at least almost – going out with her."

His brother looks sceptical. "And you?"

"I'll better hope there's someone else out there just like her, won't I?" Kaoru says, and his laugh is free of all humour. Hikaru winces at the sound.

"...right," he says. "And how long do you think that would take? Five years? Ten years? I'm not letting you walk away to live your life alone, just_ hoping_ that you'll one day stumble across another girl just like Haruhi."

"Or boy," Kaoru points out. Hikaru shrugs. They both know that Kaoru is bisexual, leaning more towards homosexual. What Hikaru _doesn't_ know is that it's mainly his fault that Kaoru has never really found girls that interesting. He'd never felt close to anyone but Hikaru before Haruhi – and she barely counts as a girl either way, what with her strange, laidback attitude and nonexistent curves and the entire school even thinking she is a boy – and it's probably the fact that his and Hikaru's relationship always was just as close physically as it was mentally that he's come to prefer a male body over a female one. Hikaru would want to strangle himself if he knew; he's already expressed his regret that his chances of becoming an uncle are so low. Sure, he said it in a teasing voice, but he didn't have to do more than utter the words for Kaoru to know that somewhere deep down, he actually really meant them.

Why Hikaru would be so sad about not becoming an uncle, when he has perfectly fine chances of becoming a _father_ himself will always be a mystery to Kaoru, as he wouldn't bring the whole deal up. Hikaru would feel uncomfortable if her did, he knows, because even if he doesn't know _why_ he feels guilty about Kaoru being homosexual, he still does. That's just how Hikaru works.

"Anyway, whichever it is, I refuse to watch you settle for anything less than someone who would make you completely happy, 'Ru," Hikaru continues, reaching out to press his fingers against his twin's cheek lightly. "You know that."

Kaoru nods and leans into the touch. "Yeah, I know that."

But yet... he cannot help that he hopes that Haruhi will not chose. If she ended up choosing neither... that would be the best solution, in his eyes. He doesn't believe that she is ready to settle down yet, to be perfectly honest, and then if she refuses them both, he'll still have Hikaru to himself... for a while.

He doesn't like the thought of having to give her up either, but while Haruhi is a soft, fresh wind, very much needed in their life, Hikaru is the ground to which he is rooted, he's the one that Kaoru stays sane for.

**

* * *

**It takes them another week before they get a chance to talk to her. Hikaru is the one to invite her to their house, but she tells him no the first time; she can't come in the middle of the week; she has to study. So they make plans for the weekend. When Hikaru sits down next to Kaoru in the limo on that day, he's grinning and slapping his twin's back. "Guess what she said?" he asks, his eyes full of glee.

Koaru just raises an eyebrow.

"She said she wouldn't come unless you were there as well!"

"...okay?" Kaoru says, slightly quizzical. Hikaru rolls his eyes.

"We need to work on our communication. Don't you get it? That means she wants to see you too, silly!"

"Oh... right! Of course." Kaoru couldn't help that he wasn't convinced that was a good thing. He just had a gut feeling that trying to sort this out and talk it through would only lead to Hikaru being disappointed, because in real life, nothing could work out that well. But at the same time, he wanted to trust in his older brother's enthusiasm. He wanted to trust Hikaru to rely on his own eyes to see the reality that lay ahead of them... and to make the right decision without Kaoru or Haruhi having to prompt him.

**

* * *

**At their age, it was easy to be swayed by your emotions and hormones, and not even Haruhi was immune to this phenomenon, he'd soon know. She chose, and she chose them both. Her and his twin's easy acceptance of their situation makes Kaoru's determination falter even though under all that bubbling, overwhelming hope, he is still insecure. The look on Hikaru's face when he can finally grab both of Kaoru's and Haruhi's hands and pull them down on the couch with him, though, his laughter that Kaoru mimics, his lips on Haruhi's (it's their first kiss, Kaoru knows that now, and he can't help but to feel like an intruder as he looks away, flushing slightly), all of it is to honest, all of it is so very much Hikaru.

Who is it really that he loves? Is he agreeing to these crazy conditions because he can't see himself without either of them, or is he submitting to the hastily made decision because he's afraid of being left alone? How many Haruhis could there possibly be in the world? How long would he have to look to find someone else who can tell him and Hikaru apart? Does he want to find someone else? Someone more who knows how to wedge the crack open wider, who can help cut the ties that he and his twin has always had?

When Hikaru goes to tell the chef to make the three of them some snacks for lunch, Haruhi waves him off with a smile before turning towards Kaoru.

"I told you so," she said, and her smile is just as much for him as it is for his brother, and herself.

"You did," he answers, smiling back. His smile doesn't die as she leans closer, only a few inches apart, it doesn't even disappear when her smile takes on a sad tone.

"I'll be here for both of you as long as you need me to be, Kaoru," she says.

"I know."

"But not longer."

The smile disappears then, and he finds himself staring into those same eyes that he's always been confronted by after their little sessions in the hidden parts of the school. She really is too smart for her own good, their little used-to-be-toy, he still has a hard time accepting that she sees through his defences so easily.

"...I know," is everything he answers. She lifts her hand to hold it against his cheek as she toughes their foreheads together.

"Be happy, Kaoru," she mumbles, and he doesn't want to hear anymore, so he presses their mouths together, almost too hard for it to be considered a kiss at all. _When I'm enough, I'll be happy_, he thinks, his mind spinning with everything that he needs to remember how to hide from his eyes before Hikaru comes back. _When he loves me the same way he loves you, I'll be happy. When I'm enough. When I am enough to make him as happy as he makes me, I'll be fucking delighted.  
_  
Hikaru gives them an odd look when he returns and finds Haruhi in Kaoru's lap, clothes on but rumpled by their forceful making out. Kaoru knows that look, and he's certain that Haruhi does too, how could she not, she who knows them better than he ever wanted. If he ever had any doubts that this would not work, the slight pout on Hikaru's lip and the glint of jealousy that he can't seem to hide completely – he's always been such an honest and straightforward person; Kaoru's opposite, oh he really deserves better than him, he really does – is enough to convince him. One day, sharing will not be enough for Hikaru. He's never been good at playing games for more than two people, and in this game, Kaoru cannot participate fully.

**

* * *

**And it works. For several years, it works. Kaoru wonders if he should feel guilty for the time he steals from them, but as he goes to bed one of those rare nights when they've all managed to get a day off from their different colleges to spend together, he finds that he really doesn't care.

He won't complain about the fact that Hikaru prefers to not be present when Kaoru and Haruhi has sex. He won't complain about how Hikaru won't let him participate when him and Haruhi does it. He's content with being allowed to watch them, watch how the muscles in Hikaru's back and ass quivers and ripples, listen to his moans blending with Haruhi's whimpers, meeting Haruhi's clear gaze over Hikaru's shoulder as he bends down to bite at her collarbone.

He leaves before they're done. Standing in the shower, he refuses to touch himself for the longest time, just stands there under the soft spray of the water and waits. Then, when he can hear voice from the other room, hear Haruhi's soft giggle and Hikaru's deeper chuckle (his voice has deepened a lot over the last few years, he really sounds like a man now), he finally turns on the full force of the water and reaches down his body to wrap his hand around himself.

It doesn't matter if he's done it with Haruhi before or not. Hikaru's voice and the sight of his naked body is always enough to make him hot all over again, both with lust and with guilt. He makes a quick job out of it, praying that he'll be done by the time Hikaru joins him. It is procedure, to shower and bathe together, something that neither of them has seen a reason to change since their childhood days. Hikaru is always more relaxed after sex; he won't care if Kaoru drapes over him, just as spent and tired as he is, and whispers lazy words of no importance in his ear and nibbles his throat as he helps his older brother wash his back.

He made a request once, only a little while after Hikaru had flopped into bed one night and declared with a content exhalation that "sex really was damn awesome after all". Because he didn't expect to get a no, he didn't hesitate to ask Hikaru if they couldn't try it themselves sometime, without Haruhi. Hikaru hadn't been startled, and the look on his face hadn't been one of disgust either, and that reassured Kaoru, but the surprise was genuine; he really hadn't ever even considered sleeping with his twin an option.

"What, are you serious?" he'd asked, turning to rest on his side so that he was able to meet Kaoru's gaze properly.

"Would I ask if I wasn't serious?"

Hikaru snorted. "Is that a question suited for the second half of the Host Club's infamous Little Devil Duo?" he snickered.

Kaoru chuckled at that. "I guess you're right," he said, smiling. "So what do you say?" he then added, the laughter still present in his voice despite the growing doubt he felt.

Hikaru sat up, his expression serious. "Kaoru, you know that I'm straight."

Kaoru just barely managed to keep himself from flinching, and Hikaru hastily added "not that I think that it's bad or anything, that you aren't!" He moved closer, wrapping his arms around him and snuggling closer in a way that Kaoru had missed dearly, as the two of them grew older and learned the rules of the outside world (with Haruhi's help). "You're still my little brother, and Haruhi belongs to both of us."

He wasn't ready to utter his doubts out loud, to protest and tell his brother that _no, Haruhi belongs to herself, and you belong to her, and she is letting me borrow you_, not anywhere near ready, and as the time passed, his silence grew thicker and the moments when Hikaru was relaxed enough to not care about Kaoru's body's reactions to his closeness happened more often.

But still, Hikaru won't touch him, or let himself be touched by him. Since they finished high school, he's gotten a lot better at handling people who are not from inside their bubble, while Kaoru is getting increasingly worse at it. He withdraws to his studio, that their mother has prepared for him ("At least one of my sons has inherited some of my sense of beauty!"), spending hours and hours in the foams from his colours; getting high on the smell of them just as well as the sight of the paintings that comes to life under his careful strokes.

No one will see him cry in his studio, where the only company he has is the pictures in his head that he so skilfully captures on the canvas. No one will see how he huddles up and crouches in a corner, shoulders shaking, his inhalations so erratic that he almost chokes on his own breath. No one will see... but he still doesn't give in. He can't. He has to continue to convince himself that this is enough, more than enough, that this is everything he'll ever get and therefore he will be happy with what he has.

**

* * *

**When the time comes for them to decide on which one's name should be put on the wedding certificate, Kaoru doesn't even consider himself a candidate. Hikaru is torn, he can tell as much, when he meets his twin's eyes over the table where the two of them is sitting together with Haruhi by her apartment's dinner table, the papers spread out all over it.

"You and Hikaru are ones that everyone who knows us considers the official couple, anyway," he points out, voice level and calm.

"Just imagine the faces they'd make if they came to the wedding to find you standing up there by the altar instead of me!" Hikaru says, almost managing to push the right amount of enthusiasm into his voice.

Kaoru laughs. "They wouldn't be able to tell the difference anyway," he counters, and they grin at each other as Haruhi rolls her eyes.

"How about we put my name on the paper, and then you get to be the one who participates in the ceremony?" Hikaru suggests.

Kaoru shakes his head. "That would be like making the wedding invalid," he says. "Even if no one else knows, God would know, right?"

Now it's Hikaru's turn to roll his eyes. "Since when has either of us ever cared about what God thought?" he asks, and together they answer; "Never."

In the end, they let Haruhi decide. And Haruhi, being the educated lawyer she is, tells them that she wouldn't want to commit such a heresy, neither in the eyes of God or the law.

So therefore, it is Hikaru's name that is printed on the certificate, and it is Hikaru who stands up there to accept Haruhi's hand from a teary-eyed Ranka, while Kaoru stands at the side of the altar, the carefully elected wedding rings burning his skin through his pocket. When the vows are exchanged, he whispers them along with both Hikaru and Haruhi.

But when the time comes to say "I do," he only answers "yes" when the priest wonders if Haruhi will "take Hitachiin Hikaru as your legal husband and pledge him your troth, so long as ye both shall live". He meets Haruhi's eyes for the shortest of moments when she answers that yes, she will, and he knows that she included him in her promise as well.

He didn't include her.

Just as he knows Hikaru didn't include him.

He makes a promise, then. And after the reception has been taken care of and the dinner is almost over with, he goes looking for Mori. It isn't hard to find him, even in the middle of the crowd; he's grown even taller since high school and is at least twice as handsome. When Kaoru looks around for the tall Morinozuka's wife, the slightly older man only motions towards the dance floor briefly, toward where Hunny is currently in the middle of skilfully leading Mori's cute little American wife through the not too complicated steps of a waltz.

"Mori-sempai," Kaoru starts, and he doesn't even halt himself to correct his slip. "I need your help."

Mori nods. "Haruhi told me about you," is the only thing he says. Kaoru blinks.

"She did?" He hadn't even been aware that Mori and Haruhi had stayed in touch, but when he thought about it, it was only logical, wasn't it? All of the friends she'd made during their days at Ouran would give her a great advantage when it came to getting in touch with the right people now that they'd all entered the world of business and prestige. "...what did she tell you?"

"Enough," Mori says. "Not more." The last part is a reassurance, and Kaoru finds that he is grateful.

"I have already had everything prepared," he says. "Kyoya helped me to cover my tracks properly... all I need is a ride to the airport."

"When?"

"Right now."

There is a slight hesitation, and he realizes that Mori told the truth; Haruhi really hadn't told him that much at all, or he'd have been able to figure out why Kaoru was in such a hurry.

"...okay. I'll call for my car."

He will not allow himself to cry now either, just as little as he'll allow himself to regret his decision. He doesn't look back, as he follows Mori to the door. If he looked back, he isn't certain he'd ever be able to turn around and continue to walk away. And he knows very well that he's not being fair to them, or himself. He'll ruin all of their chances if he continues to cling to his brother like this.

Hikaru doesn't need Kaori to push him in front of him anymore. He's an adult. He is his own individual.

It's time for Kaoru to grow up too.


End file.
